I left the compound looking for a beach front restaurant. My gps was working but not so great. I tried three different roads that the map said were access to the beach but they were all large resorts and nope I couldn’t have lunch. Each time I had to get back on the Highway to the Retorno or U-turn. The drivers are sometimes rude but mostly drive with some semblance of courtesy. Finally I decided to go North to Puerto Morales. No more directions now, so I got a little lost.
Backtracking again, when I left the compound I saw my Shaman, Rene. I waved but he didn’t notice me, but then ran up to my car. He wanted my keys to set up for the evening. I had left them out side of the door for the boiler fixer.
But when I looked into his eyes, it took me right back to the Bufo. Kind of scary.
In Puerto Morales, I drove into the quaint beach town. You really have to be careful driving. People, bikes, cycles big trucks, pot holes, big humps in the road for speeders and one way streets, oh my.
I saw a place called Tacos.com. Drove around looking for parking and then found it again. Guess who was there? The couple from Texas. They waved me in and insisted that I sit with them! Not usually something I like to do but I did. I ordered a beer and tacos. They had already ordered. We chatted about the experience and its effects on us. They were humble and kind human beings. I will connect with Nicolina in the future.
Then the uneventful drive back to the Eco Lodge. I got packed to the next day and made sure I had blankets on my bed. I think I had 7 Mexican blankets.
I found an Ernest Hemmingway book of short stories so I read and waited. Rene was a few minutes late. He brought a huge jug of water. Earlier he had brought all of his supplies, like drums and sound bells.
Finally he was ready. He explained what would happen and that we would start with the Raipe again.
From a friend:https://share.google/6CfAhmJLWbw5RK5UO
Or from ChatGPT
Rapéh is administered through the nostrils.
The nasal route is symbolic and functional:
It acts rapidly on the nervous system It brings attention to the head, breath, and presence
This is what I had yesterday.
So same thing, can’t breath though my nose, just my mouth.
Then he gives me the mushrooms in a little bowl with lemon and honey. They were chewy but didn’t taste bad. He tells me to eat them. OMG. So much trust. We talk about yesterday and his family. He is from near Mexico City. He is married, has two daughters and studied as a Mechanical Engineer, like my son! He said he spent a lot of time as a kid camping in nature and was drawn to this calling.
I started to feel the effects but I don’t have much sense of time. Things started bending and moving and I was feeling relaxed. Occasionally I looked towards the windows to see if it was dark or light.
Then I saw some distinct moving in the ceiling
So I would open my eyes and close them. Closing my eyes were crazy images, fractals.
Fractals (what “fraxils” usually refers to)
Fractals are patterns that:
Repeat at different scales Look similar whether you zoom in or out Are mathematically generated but also common in nature
Examples in nature:
Fern leaves Snowflakes Coastlines Romanesco broccoli Tree branching Blood vessels
Mathematically, fractals are self-similar, recursive structures.
And:
During psychedelic or non-ordinary states of consciousness, people often report seeing:
Repeating geometric patterns Infinite zooming shapes Tessellations that feel alive or moving Visuals that “build themselves”
From Chat GPT
So was I hallucinating, which you don’t necessarily do on Shrooms but then I saw a tail and the flipping Raccoon was staring at me. He got closer and I finally had to motion to Rene. He stopped and tried to shoo him away. Back to the trip, but he came back. Ugg can’t I just experience this without an animal?
Raccoons are nocturnal, right? I solved my house raccoon problem by leaving the light on. I once had 5 raccoons in my kitchen eating cat food. This was caught on video, all ten yellow eyes. No big deal, my bedroom was upstairs. So back to the trip after I moved my little bed, on Mexican blankets closer to Rene and not under where Rocky was walking.
It is impossible to explain this whole experience but some of the memories right now are ancient China, my heart opening up to let my Dad free, a new birth, not breech and profound love. There were moments that I wanted it to be over. I was so cold, I sweated a lot, I cried a lot, especially when it really was over. At another point, I saw the raccoon walk across the floor near my bed and near me. I gave it a WTF. I asked Rene if it was over, it was not. But it became more peaceful and enlightening.
It’s hard to process this and I asked ChatGPT for help:
All four of these explanations feel right;
“My Bufo and mushroom experiences opened me to profound feelings of love and connection, while also leaving me with unanswered questions and moments of inner contrast. They expanded my perspective rather than resolving everything. I found them meaningful and transformative, but they require respect, preparation, and integration. I would encourage others to explore only with caution, intention, and support.”
These journeys brought me deep feelings of love, alongside paradoxes and questions I’m still living into. They didn’t give me certainty—they gave me awareness. I’m grateful for the experience, and I believe it can be powerful for others, but only when approached thoughtfully and with care.”
“My Bufo and mushroom journeys were experiences of deep love, contrast, and unanswered questions that continue to unfold. They were meaningful for me, but they deserve caution, preparation, and respect.”
“These experiences expanded my sense of love and awareness, while also revealing complexity and unresolved questions. I found them valuable, and I’d encourage others to explore them thoughtfully—never casually, and always with care.”
We talked a little after, I was confused with so many feelings. I was still feeling the effects when he left. I read a little, tried to distract myself with Netflix, ate a little food but still seeing things move.
I was too afraid to take a shower. Again I slept with all my clothes on after warming my bed with a hot pan.
I slept fitfully, I had to find a sound ap . The first one was sound bells, not ready for that. I chose waves. I kept two of the three light bulbs on. Rocky was definitely making noise. Apparently during the night he chewed on a candle and pooped by the sink.
I can’t remember if I mentioned that I left some bread out, hell, I thought it was ok during the day, but he ate it.
So now what, I process patiently.
Thanks for reading. In Playa del Carmen at a restaurant and staying in a real hotel! Home tomorrow.
Travel Pig 